Reflections
by Tatty Lizzie Bear
Summary: [Post HBP]Draco thinks about the situation he has got himself into and the people involved [Oneshot]


Reflection

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in the story they belong to JK Rowling; the plot is mine however.**

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Draco sat in a dark, cold cave, somewhere near the Welsh border. Snape was just sending a message back to Hogwarts using a specially trained owl. He thought it might be an Animagus, but nothing had told him that it was definitely one. He was scared, scared at what he had gotten involved in. He had betrayed Voldemort, although he might not realise it yet, but when he did he would want to kill him and Snape. And that was not all he had to worry about, as Harry and his friends would want to avenge the death of Dumbledore. He had a lot on his plate. 

How had he gotten involved in this in the first place? His 'betrayal' had begun when he saw his father killed innocent people. His father, for a reason totally forgotten because of the event, had called him down and had said '_Avada Kedavra' _and killed them. He even vaguely knew the people his father had brutally killed. At a garden party, he thought, but he knew they had nothing to do with either side, and yet they died. The only thing his father said was "Good to practise", and then left him with the two dead bodies on the floor. He had summoned house elves to remove the bodies and then left the room. He had barely left his room the rest of the holiday. It allowed him to start evaluating his life and what he was doing with it. He realised his life was a sham and that he had been brain washed by his parents and, in some way, by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. He started to think about how he had treated others, especially muggle borns, and how it was stupid and mean on the verge of evil. Blood didn't matter; he recognised that pureblood didn't mean anything. It was merely inbred, which didn't sound healthy. He was horrified at the amounts of innocents killed, after reading a book about Death Eaters and Voldemort.

He was pleased to get back to Hogwarts. A few days after arrival, Dumbledore had called him into his office and started to explain his plan. They needed away of drawing Voldemort out, so Dumbledore knew that the only way Voldemort would attack if the Order and Harry were weak. So, the way in which Voldemort would believe they were if Dumbledore was killed. He felt that Draco and Snape were the ones who could do it. They had good in them, but they would not arouse suspicion. When asked why he wanted to die, he explained that he was near his death day anyway, and didn't believe he would survive the war. When it came to the plans implementation, Draco couldn't do it. He found the sacrifice that Dumbledore was making overwhelming and he didn't want to turn out like his father, a murder, so Snape had to do it.

He was worried about Snape, whether he would survive the war. Snape was an obvious betrayer, being a teacher at Hogwarts then running from a murder. When Voldemort worked it out, which would be very soon, Snape was at risk. This made Draco even more scared, as Snape had been one of the few persons he could trust and rely on. Without him, Draco wasn't sure what he'd do, as he was a father figure to him.

At some point, Draco knew they would have to return to Hogwarts to help with the battle against Voldemort, but how would the other members of the Order and others react? At the present time, he didn't know if people like Harry, the Order etc knew about the plan. Dumbledore had said that he would tell McGonagall before he died about the plan and write a note to Harry about it. But Draco knew they might not believe, and then what?

Harry would be the most sceptical. He hated Snape and himself, so why would he believe they were actually good and it was part of a plan Dumbledore had set up. It was pathetic. Draco thought how their rivalry had started. Harry didn't want to be friends and had defended someone he didn't like for a silly reason, so they became enemies. Draco had come to understand that this hatred had come from jealousy. Harry had automatic fame when he arrived at Hogwarts. But with his parents always doing Death Eater stuff, Draco was often lonely, so to replace this he needed popularity. But Harry was popular because he was a nice person who stood up for his beliefs, not just because he was 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'. People didn't like Draco; they feared him and his influence. He really wanted proper friends who liked him because of who he was.

Then there was Ron. He had disliked him because he was poor. What a ridiculous reason to hate someone. Draco used to believe that money made you happy, but after what he had been through, he realised this was not the case. Ron was really lucky because he a large but loving family and really good friends. To Draco's parents, he was merely there to pass on the family name and to be a good little Death Eater. That did sadden him.

He felt that his reason for hating Hermione was the worst of all- her blood. He hated her because she was a muggle born witch. He felt that the real reason why he hated her was because she was more intelligent than him and she had no prior training before Hogwarts. His father had taught him spells from when he was young, and yet he was still beaten. She was pretty incredible and he loved the fact she was so smart. Most of the girls in his House were only interested in boys and snogging, going further if they were older, so no intelligent conversation there. But Hermione was different because she was interested in her work, not really bothered and it looked like you could talk to her for hours about a lot of things. Yes, she needed loosen up at times, but she was special and his prejudices didn't allow him to recognise it.

Snape then came over. They had got a fast response. They were ready for them.


End file.
